


The 1

by weareinwanderland



Category: BL - Fandom, ทฤษฎีจีบเธอ | Theory of Love (TV), รุ่นพี่ Secret Love | Senior Secret Love (TV), รุ่นพี่ Secret Love | Senior Secret Love (TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feelings Realization, Friendship, Growing Up, M/M, Moving On, Understanding, offgun - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:48:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26239612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weareinwanderland/pseuds/weareinwanderland
Summary: An offgun one shot based on Taylor Swift's song, The 1.
Relationships: Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	The 1

**Author's Note:**

> The POV used in the story is either Gun or Off’s It was written in a way that the viewer would decide who’s perspective they were looking at.

**A/N:** Italicized words mean either flashbacks or character lines. I suggest reading while listening to the song to set the mood of the story. I'd greatly appreciate comments. Enjoy!

\---------------------

**I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit**

**Been saying "Yes" instead of "No"**

**I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though**

When you've spent years with someone, it's hard not to miss their presence. Whether it was friendship, love or both, familiarity came along with it. I could tell who you were just by a mere touch, even with my eyes blindfolded. The scent of your skin, the shape of your lips, your height... I memorized you so well that I could spot you from a crowd of thousands and immediately set you apart. How are you? I wanted to ask. Are you well? Sometimes I laugh at my own delusion. I know you like the back of my hand. Many things remind me of you... I wonder if it's the same for you.

 _How nostalgic?_ I bemusedly laughed at my own thoughts.

**I hit the ground running each night**

**I hit the Sunday matinee**

**You know the greatest films of all time were never made**

Now here we were, standing on opposite sides of the red carpet. You look good, my love. As dashing as ever. Due to years of experience in the industry, you stand confidently in front of the camera. Not hesitating to answer any question thrown at you by the press.

I'm proud of you and frankly, quite envious. Aren't you nervous without me standing next to you, my dear? because I am.

You catch me staring at you and for a moment there we lock eyes. There was no hate, contempt, nor animosity. Only baseless rumors could deliver something so false. Between you and me, there was nothing but gratitude and respect.

You gave me a small smile and I returned one to you. We give it a few seconds as if to say, how are you? I missed you. Thank you.

We look away and proceed to walk separately. I find my seat and you find yours. Tables away and yet I was comforted by your presence.

**I guess you never know, never know**

**And if you wanted me, you really should've showed**

**And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow**

**And it's alright now**

We had so many "almosts". So many moments where only one move was needed, and it would have changed the course of time.

Do you remember that day when we almost kissed? That one spontaneous night we snuck out of our hotel room.

_I was about to fall asleep, but you sat on my bed and nudged me until you had my full attention. At first, I was annoyed, tired because we were shooting the whole day... but you were so enthusiastic. You begged me to see the beautiful night lights with you, right across that small bridge. I told you that we had to get up early the next morning, but you were adamant that we go. I looked at you and how could I resist?_

_We snuck out quietly, hoping that the staff wouldn't be rattled by the noise. We were wearing only baggy clothes and slippers, and yet we were both smiling._

_We stood on that little bridge, taking pictures.... making small talk. The colorful lights reflected on your skin and I swear that your eyes twinkled. The night breeze was peaceful, and you were so happy. We were happy._

_It wasn't often that we got to talk without people surrounding us. There was always somebody watching... it made me appreciate this moment even more. We chatted until we realized that the sun was about to rise._

_We looked at each other, our faces close. Was it the lights? Was it the scene? Did we feel hazy from the sleepless night, numbing our senses? It felt like a romantic scene pulled from a movie. Should I kiss you? Should I not? Was this our moment after years of push and pull? The sun was rising, if not now, then when?_

_"Oii! The two of you! Sneaking off, are you?"_

_Our gaze was broken and we turned our heads. P' Jennie was making her way towards us. We chuckled and smiled at each other before walking towards her._

_Did that really happen?_

Every time I look back at that one moment in time, I remembered a line from the movie "My Best Friend's Wedding".

"If you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out. Otherwise, the moment... just passes"

Was that our moment? Did we let it pass?

Looking at you now, I was certain we did.

**But we were something, don't you think so?**

**Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool**

**And if my wishes came true**

**It would've been you**

**In my defense, I have none**

**For never leaving well enough alone**

**But it would've been fun**

**If you would've been the one**

_Contract renewals were upon us. You had two more years to go and mine was up. We were entering our 30s and people expected us to settle down and take on more serious roles. In other words, people expected us to separate. They never intended for us to last this long in the first place._

_You and I never had any terms of agreement when we were paired as a couple. We didn't even expect our ship to become so popular._

_Yet here we were years later, still together, still as recognized and with such a big fanbase._

_It never occurred to me that the time would come when we had to let go._

_We were too busy enjoying it... the moment, the fame, the experience, our fans, our youth, us.... each other. The momentum was too good to halt... and with all honesty, I felt happy. I felt complete. I felt contented... but I didn't know if you felt the same. We never talked about it._

_Did you want to let go?_

_Will you let me go?_

**I have this dream you're doing cool shit**

**Having adventures on your own**

**You meet some woman on the Internet and take her home**

**We never painted by the numbers, baby**

**But we were making it count**

**You know the greatest loves of all time are over now**

"and the best male actor award goes to... Atthaphan Phunsawat!"

"and best screenplay goes to, Jumpol Adulkittiporn for his directorial debut in the movie The Matinee!"

Applauses were given and the cheers of fans could be heard from the side. We respectively received our awards as our names were called. On stage at different times, delivering our separate speeches and thanking different people. We were cheered by our respective partners.

If onlookers didn't know our history, they would've never guessed that we used to be attached by the hip.

We used to collect awards left and right.

_"and the best couple award goes to, OffGun!"_

We used to dress the same, give our thanks to the same people and entered every event side by side. Where I was, there you were... _but not today, not for a while now._

We were our own separate entities now and with nothing much to link us together except the past.

You walked down the stage and the first thing you did was give your new muse a kiss on the cheek. You looked genuinely happy.

Did it hurt? No... not really. At best, I felt melancholy and nostalgic. I missed it... I missed you. We achieved so many things together as offgun.

But here we were, standing on our own feet. Our great love story now a mere memory of the distant past... and yet I felt proud. We made it together then and were successful in our own right now. _Was this a sign of maturity?_ I thought to myself in an amused manner.

Congratulations on your success, my love. I wouldn't wish anything less for you. You made it; we both did.

But you and me as a team, we were quite something, don't you think so?

**I guess you never know, never know**

**And it's another day, waking up alone**

_I woke up to the sound of my phone blaring. The news outlets pushed our non-renewal of contract to the headlines. Reporters were trying to get our respective insights and scheduling interviews with GMMTV. Our fans were restlessly discussing the fate of our ship on every social media platform._

_We expected the response to be massive, but we didn't expect it to get so out of hand. Comments were flooding our accounts, to the point that I thought my phone would crash. The company warned us of the aftermath and told us to lay low in the meantime._

_I sat up on my bed, not knowing what to do. I felt paralyzed and unable to process the chaos surrounding me._

_I wanted to call you, but what would I say? What was there left to be said at this point?_

_As the day went on, there seemed to be no end to the pandemonium. Rumors of new lovers, sexuality, unresolved differences and fights were spreading like wildfire. I was at a loss and had never felt so confused... scared._

_I stared at my phone. Please call, I thought to myself._

_Please call. I need you right now. You're the only one who can understand._

_But you didn't..._

_For days, the fate of our ship became a hot topic, rousing different reactions from our family, friends and fans. From anger, worry and acceptance, there was no set reaction to our so called break up. The company finally called us in after a few days. We were instructed to keep out of the public eye for a little while, while they sorted out the press. We were assured that this would eventually die down and that we had to give people time._

_The representatives and staff left the room. Only you and I were left. We were seated across each other, but I didn't dare look up. A few moments passed and I felt a hand on my shoulder. There you were, right by my side, looking down at me right in the eye._

_I couldn't help it. I quickly got up and hugged you as tight as I could. Both of us were teary eyed. In the years we were together, we were never each other's crying shoulder. There was never a chance for us to be. For years, we lived in an unrealistic Utopia and today, it was as if the sky had fallen._

_Yet in all the chaos and this uncharted territory of emotional onset, we held onto each other like life support._

_This had been the dreaded moment of many of our fans and I couldn't blame them for thinking that we were going to grow old together.... Would it really be such a terrible idea to spend a lifetime with me? As offgun?_

_We eventually had to leave. You didn't let go of my hand. As we looked down at the reporters surrounding the entrance, I realized that it was too late now._

_What's done is done._

**But we were something, don't you think so?**

**Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool**

**And if my wishes came true**

**It would've been you**

**In my defense, I have none**

**For never leaving well enough alone**

**But it would've been fun**

**If you would've been the one**

_The first few months were the hardest. We were told not only to lay low but to also distance ourselves from each other. It would do us well in the long run, they said. No calls, no texts and no communication of any form._

_The more I tried to make myself forget, the more I recalled the many things we had done together._

_I dreamt countless dreams about us over the course of a few months. It might've been the result of my imaginative mind creating parallel futures for us. Futures that I now know, will never be brought to fruition._

_I dreamt of us becoming a couple and deciding to live together._

_An image of you and me with a dog running around in the garden. Then suddenly, a few years later, there's a child between us. Wouldn't that have been lovely?_

_But then my pessimistic mind drifts to a parallel life where there was nothing good._

_We would fight and argue. We would hate each other in the long run and separate. We would become bitter and all that we had built together would become a distasteful memory for us both. We would be left with remorseful regret and wished that in our younger years, we should have left things as they were and let our relationship die a natural death._

_But we're here now, and with these circumstances, neither future seemed liked a possibility._

_What we had now was not even each other, but merely ourselves._

**Hey, yeah-yeah**

**Persist and resist the temptation to ask you**

**If one thing had been different**

**Would everything be different today?**

The awards show was coming to a close. All guests were going about and greeting their fellow artists. You and I spotted each other from across the room and decided to walk towards the other, trophies at hand.

 _Congratulations_ , we said unison. We chuckled at the timing. We didn't need to hug or touch each other. This was enough.

 _I'm proud of you_ ,I said wholeheartedly with a smile.

 _You too,_ you responded and smiled back.

 _Too bad we didn't win the best couple award,_ you jokingly said while lightly hitting my arm. We both laughed at your corny attempt of a joke.

We continued to make chit chat. We talked about our incoming shows and projects. We asked each other how we were and everything else under the sun. The atmosphere felt light and we were both at ease. We always were, nothing's changed.

This caught the attention of photographers and they asked us if they could take a picture of us together. We posed for the camera with our arms around each other, respective hands holding the trophies up. Eventually, we noticed our partners looking at us from the side lines. Neither looked awkward or fidgety and we were both grateful for their trust.

We invited them over and before we knew it, our arms were no longer linked. They were holding others now. But we managed to stand side by side, still moving forward... as friends.

**We were something, don't you think so?**

**Rosé flowing with your chosen family**

**And it would've been sweet**

**If it could've been me**

_Laughter filled the air as we started a bonfire. It was the annual company get together and we were on a trip by the sea. The night breeze felt cool and we could hear the calming splash of the waves._

_I looked at the faces of my co-artists who were not just friends, but also family. We were all so young, full of youth and alive. This had to be the best moment of my life so far._

_Many were drunk and struggling to stay up. We laughed as an inebriated Drake fell backwards, Frank falling as he tried to pull him up. Tay was making jokes while Lee, Oab and P' Jennie were making fun of him. The girls were giddily showing each other dance moves for their next comeback. Others were making light conversations. I've never felt so relaxed and untroubled._

_Eventually, with whoever was remaining, we all sat in a circle and surrounded the bonfire. We talked about the shows that were coming in the following year and other light work-related matters. At some point, a comforting silence filled the air._

_"Do you think we're all still going to be here in 5 years?" Tay asked the crowd._

_"Of course, we are", Arm responded. "That's too short of a time for things to change. Right?"_

_"hooooo, you know what wont change?" Mike said suggestively. "Offgun na. Look at that. Leaning on each other, how sweet!" he said teasingly._

_Everyone laughed and pitched in their words of agreement. As a joke, you and I pulled a face and moved a seat apart. Not a second later, we returned to our position and continued leaning on each other, allowing everyone to tease us._

If only I knew then.

**In my defense, I have none**

**For digging up the grave another time**

**But it would've been fun**

**If you would've been the one**

Eventually, we separated and made small talk with other actors whom we knew. The night's activities went on and we were no longer able to cross paths.

As the event came to an end, the valets were pulling up and it was time to head home. The cars lined and I saw you getting in your vehicle. For a quick moment, you searched the crowd. You spotted me, gave me a smile and waved your hand goodbye. I did the same.

As you drove away with your significant other beside you, I couldn't help but think of the what ifs.

What if I kissed you that night? What if we decided to extend our contracts? What if one of us made the bold move of asking each other out? What if we chose to stay together even after it all ended, would we have been happy?

It was a futile question because I already knew the answer. Of course, we would have been happy. Because we were offgun... because in the years that we stayed together, we showed each other nothing but love and care... because the only thing that we wanted for each other was the best.

But we were no longer young and in our roaring 20s. Digging up the grave of the past would lead to no good. Now, our what ifs could only be answered by our wishful thinking.

But had you been the one, it would have been fun, don't you agree?

 _"The car's here",_ I heard, snapping me out of my thoughts. My adorable date pulled me towards the vehicle, and I smiled, amused that I was being dragged.

Maybe in our next life, then. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Comments would be greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading 😊


End file.
